Japanese Tea Ceremony: What Not To Do

The Japanese tea ceremony is a popular ritual that is held in the country to mark the preparation and serving of Japanese green tea. Also known as Chanoyu or Sado, the Japanese tea ceremony involves the serving and drinking of a powdered Japanese green tea known as Matcha in addition to Japanese sweets to reduce the bitterness of the tea. In Japan, serving tea is considered an art and a spiritual discipline. As a discipline, the tea ceremony entails the aesthetic contemplation of ceramics, flower arranging, calligraphy, and the tea ceremony's roots, which date back to the 12th century. As an art, the ceremony involves the appreciation of the tea room’s design, being around friends, and the feel of the chawan on the hand.

A Japanese tea ceremony can have several guests, usually ranging from 4 to 5, in a small meeting. The name given to the first guest is Shokyaku, while the second guest is called Jikyaku. Other guests are simply known as Kyaku. The last guest has a name, which is known as Tsume, while the person serving tea and directing the ceremony is known as Teishu. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Japanese local or a tourist; it is vital that you follow formal tea ceremony etiquette.

Rituals that are hosted outside the country should also follow the formal code of conduct. If you are a foreigner, it is important that you learn the standard protocol before being allowed to participate in a Japanese tea ceremony. For example, as a guest, you are required to remove your shoes before being allowed to enter the tea room. Slippers will be provided before the ceremony starts. You will be seated in order by your host, and you should avoid touching anything with your palm. When a tea bowl is offered to you, make sure you turn slightly before taking a sip.

Beyond its rituals and etiquette, the Japanese tea ceremony represents a moment of mindfulness and harmony between host, guest, and nature. Every movement, from the gentle placement of the tea bowl to the sound of water being poured, is performed with purpose and awareness. The environment is designed to encourage a calm state of mind, allowing participants to appreciate the fleeting beauty of the present moment—a concept deeply rooted in the Japanese philosophy of ichigo ichie, meaning “one time, one meeting.” This philosophy reminds guests that each tea gathering is unique and should be cherished as an irreplaceable experience, fostering respect, gratitude, and inner peace. The following are things that you should not do at a Japanese tea ceremony:

1. Don’t sit in a seiza style because you will tire quickly

When you enter a Japanese tea ceremony, you are likely to see people seated in a seiza style or even Indian style. Unless you are a child, you should not sit like that. Remember that tea ceremonies in Japan can last way longer than you think, so make sure you sit down with your legs sprawled out. This way, you will avoid all the pain and agony that come with sitting in a seat for hours.

While sitting in a seiza position is a traditional gesture of respect in Japan, many tea ceremony hosts today understand that not everyone can maintain this posture for long periods. If you are attending a ceremony and find it uncomfortable, it is perfectly acceptable to shift discreetly to a more relaxed sitting style when given permission. Some hosts even provide small cushions called zabuton to help support your knees and ankles. The key is to remain respectful and composed while maintaining attentiveness to the ceremony. Your posture should reflect mindfulness—comfortable yet polite—so that you can focus on the spirit of harmony and appreciation that the tea ceremony represents.

2. Don’t wash your hands in the tea room unless it is really necessary

Before you enter a Japanese tea ceremony, it is likely that you have washed your hands and that they are clean. So when you are presented with a basin to wash your hands, decline in a polite way. You came to the ceremony to drink tea, not to eat food with your hands. If you did not touch anything dirty on your way to the ceremony, there is no need to wash your hands again.

In the traditional tea ceremony, purity and preparation begin long before entering the tea room. Guests typically cleanse their hands and mouths at a stone basin (tsukubai) located outside the teahouse, symbolizing the washing away of worldly dust and distractions. Once you step inside, the tea room itself represents a purified space where no further washing is needed. Attempting to wash your hands again indoors can be seen as misunderstanding the ritual’s intention. Instead, focus on quiet composure and mental clarity—the true form of purification in Chanoyu. A respectful bow or a moment of stillness communicates far more grace than an unnecessary gesture.

3. Don’t ask fake questions which do not relate to the tea ceremony

Sometimes you may be tempted to exaggerate your compliments or questions to the point that you sound insincere or fake. Don’t go overboard by complimenting your host just to look social. A Japanese tea ceremony is a time to be genuine and sincere. So when you ask a question, it should come from your heart. You can ask questions about the matcha and how it is harvested, or other sincere questions related to the ceremony.

In Japanese culture, authenticity and humility are deeply valued, especially within the tea ceremony, where every exchange carries quiet meaning. Overly enthusiastic remarks or irrelevant chatter can break the calm rhythm that defines the experience. The host, or teishu, devotes great care to every detail—from the selection of the tea bowl to the seasonal flowers—so genuine curiosity about these elements is always welcomed. Instead of filling the silence with empty compliments, embrace the pauses and gentle flow of conversation. Speaking less, but with sincerity, allows you to connect more deeply with the spirit of wa-kei-sei-jaku—harmony, respect, purity, and tranquility—that guides every aspect of Chanoyu.

4. Do not wait to eat the sweets, but consume them as soon as they are presented to you

As green tea is being prepared at the ceremony, you will be presented with sweets. Instead of waiting for the water to boil and the tea to be prepared, eat your sweets as soon as you receive them. As a foreigner (gaijin), you have the need to eat and not wait. So don’t pretend you came to the ceremony to wait for everything to be ready so that you can start to eat.

The timing of eating sweets in the tea ceremony follows a precise rhythm that complements the flow of the event. These confections, called wagashi, are not merely snacks but are thoughtfully chosen to reflect the current season and to prepare your palate for the bitterness of matcha. When they are presented, it is a silent invitation from the host to begin enjoying them—delaying could disrupt the harmony of timing that the teishu has carefully arranged. Use the small paper provided (kaishi) to handle the sweet politely, and take a moment to admire its color and design before eating. This simple act of attentiveness transforms an ordinary bite into a gesture of respect and appreciation for the artistry behind the ceremony.

5. Do not eat or drink anything unless they are offered to you

As a guest attending the Japanese tea ceremony, you will enter the tea room known as the chashitsu. This is a social room where guests are told what to do, what to eat, and what to say by the teishu. Do not consume any sweets or drink anything unless they are offered to you. Your role as a guest is to drink tea and consume sweets, as well as give compliments on the tea room’s design whenever you are given a chance to do so. Do not take extra sweets or drink more tea than you are given.

In the tea ceremony, every gesture of giving and receiving carries symbolic meaning, reflecting the mutual respect between host and guest. The host carefully measures the portion of tea and sweets to maintain balance and mindfulness throughout the ritual. Reaching for more without being invited may appear impulsive or self-centered, disrupting the calm harmony that defines the ceremony. Instead, show gratitude by admiring what is offered and savoring it slowly. Even a single sip of matcha or a small sweet embodies the essence of omotenashi—the Japanese spirit of heartfelt hospitality. Accepting only what is presented honors not just the host’s effort but also the centuries-old tradition of restraint and grace.

6. Do not drink the tea like there is no tomorrow

Remember that this is a tea ceremony and not a party where you have to eat until your stomach is full. Before you start taking tea, there are a variety of things that will be done. You will be presented with sweets to eat, but remember, you should not say or do anything that is not part of the tea ceremony. The tea ceremony starts when the teishu gives sweets to the guest, known as the shokyaku, and declares there is something to eat for the guest. After filling your belly with sweets, it’s time to drink the tea, which is quite bitter. Make sure to balance the bitterness of the tea with the sweets. However, don’t gulp down the matcha like there is no tomorrow. Take time to enjoy every sip you take.

Knowing the above tips will prevent you from looking like an idiot while at a Japanese tea ceremony. While at the ceremony, you are expected to eat and drink everything that is served to you. There will be no leftovers. However, you should not worry because the sweets are quite tasty and the tea is sumptuous, to say the least. You are not allowed to smoke inside the tea room. If you are not sure about anything, don’t do it at the tea ceremony.

Drinking matcha during the ceremony is meant to be a meditative act, not a show of thirst or excitement. The host has taken time to whisk the tea to perfection, creating a smooth froth and balanced aroma. As you receive the bowl, bow slightly in gratitude, rotate it gently before sipping, and take quiet, deliberate sips to appreciate its warmth and depth. Each taste represents harmony between host and guest, bitterness and sweetness, simplicity and depth. When finished, admire the craftsmanship of the bowl before returning it carefully. This mindful rhythm transforms the act of drinking tea into a shared moment of serenity—an expression of respect, gratitude, and presence.

Conclusion

Attending a Japanese tea ceremony is more than just an opportunity to drink matcha—it is a chance to experience centuries of tradition, mindfulness, and respect woven into every gesture. Understanding what not to do is just as important as knowing the proper etiquette, as it helps preserve the serenity and balance that define Chanoyu. By observing quietly, acting with sincerity, and appreciating each deliberate movement, guests become part of a shared moment that transcends words. Whether you are a visitor or a lifelong student of Japanese culture, embracing the spirit of harmony, respect, purity, and tranquility ensures that every cup of tea becomes a memory of grace and connection.